December 11, 2002
In the interest of actually posting more than one entry this December, I have succumbed to the temptation of the list o' 100 questions entry, just like my dear friends Melissa, Elizabeth, and Eliza. Hey, it's better than nothing, right?
1. Are you an innie or an outie?
Innie.
2. Have you ever worn bell-bottoms?
As a child in the 1970s, when I had no control over what my mother dressed me in, yes. Red plaid ones with a matching shirt that had a red plaid chicken on it.
3. Have you ever written a song?
I am a terrible poet and I got kicked out of 8th grade band. Do you think I could write a song?
4. Can you make change for a dollar right now?
Yes. I always have change for the subway token machines.
5. Have you ever been in the opposite sex's public toilet?
I spaced and walked into one in a movie theater once.
6. Have you ever smelled your own feet?
Yes. Hasn't everyone? Not mine, their own.
7. Do you like ketchup on or beside your french fries?
On. Drowned is more accurate, though.
8. Can you touch your tongue to your nose?
Nope, but I can get close.
9. Have you ever been a boy/girl scout?
I was a Brownie and I made it through two years of Girl Scouts before I realized that it was too much like work and quit. What do mean I have to EARN badges? I stayed away for five years, until I was 17 and my cousin roped me into being a camp counselor at the Girl Scout Camp she was running that summer. In order to work for the Girl Scouts, you technically have to be one, so I was sworn in all over again. Luckily, that time around they didn't ask me to earn anything except a paycheck.
10. Have you ever broken a mirror?
Several times. The first was when I was six or seven; my sister and I broke a full-length mirror in the shore house we were staying in for the summer. A few years later, I broke my grandmother's hand mirror. And I've broken too many compact and purse mirrors to count. And I wonder why I have such rotten luck.
11. Have you ever put your tongue on a frozen pole?
Surprisingly, no.
12. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Hmmmmm. Do I have to chose just one?
13. Do you slurp your drink after it's gone?
Yes.
14. Have you ever blown bubbles in your milk?
So hard that the milk jumps out of the glass and runs all over the table. My mother always enjoys that trick.
15. Would you rather eat a Big Mac or a Whopper?
Whopper.
16. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping?
Nope. I never really ran with a skinny-dipping kind of crowd.
17. When you are at the grocery store, do you ask for paper or plastic?
I take whatever they shove my groceries in and hand me. Or actually, whatever *I* shove my groceries in and hand myself. Now, there's a pet peeve -- people who don't bag their own groceries when there's no bag boy on the lane.
18. True or False: You would rather eat steak than pizza.
Couldn't I have steak ON my pizza? Or a pizza steak?
19. Did you have a baby blanket?
No. I was a pacifier kid until my mother decided I was too old to have one anymore and told me that the birds stole it.
20. Have you ever tried to cut your own hair?
I cut my own bangs all the time.
21. Have you ever sleepwalked?
Once, while staying at my cousin's house.
22. Have you ever had a birthday party at McDonalds?
No. Actually, I was terrified of McDonald's hamburgers throughout my childhood. Don't laugh. When I was around three years old, I had a dream about Scooby Doo and Shaggy. They were wandering in the desert and they came upon a McDonald's hamburger lying on the ground. Just as Scooby was about to pick it up and eat it, the bun flipped up to reveal a glowing, laughing skull. Have a dream like that when you're three, and I defy you to even step inside a McDonald's, let alone eat one of their hamburgers, for the next decade. I eventually got over my terror and started going to McDonald's when I was a teenager, but I ate Chicken McNuggets exclusively; it was another ten years before I could bring myself to eat a McDonald's hamburger.
23. Can you flip your eyelids up?
I've never tried and I'm not going to start now.
24. Are you double jointed?
No, but I can hyper-extend my arms.
25. If you could be any age, what age would you be?
29
26. Have you ever gotten gum stuck in your hair?
Probably. The only thing I can remember, though, is my sister, Holly, playing with her gum while we were on our way to dinner at Beefsteak Charlie's, and my mother yelling at her to stop because she was going to get gum all over her hands. Naturally, she didn't stop and got gum stuck all over her hands. She looked like she had some terrible skin disease. My mother freaked out and we had to go home and eat tuna sandwiches.
27. Have you ever thrown up after a roller coaster ride?
I've come close, but no cigar.
28. What is your dream car?
Something old and convertible.
29. What is your favorite cartoon of all time?
Scooby Doo. MINUS SCRAPPY, who is the Anti-Christ. (And, obviously, minus the skull-filled McDonald's hamburgers.)
30. Would you go swimming in shallow waters where, one year earlier, a shark had attacked a child?
Yes. (And can I ask: should it make a difference that a child was attacked rather than an adult? I mean, if you were going to be freaked out by someone getting attacked by a shark, would age really matter?)
31?
32. Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit?
No, but I watched my high school boyfriend eat one.
33. If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first?
Panic. Then drown.
34. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Twice. Once after my mother hit a telephone pole with our green Ford Pinto and once after my Ford Grenada was totaled by a fire truck. My family shouldn't drive Fords.
35. Can you pick something up with your toes?
Yes.
36. How many remote controls do you have in your house?
Seven. Two TVs, cable, two DVD players, one VCR, one stereo.
37. Have you ever fallen asleep in school?
A better question for me would be "When have you NOT fallen asleep in school?". Hell, I'd fall asleep now if I weren't the one teaching the class.
38. How many times have you flown in an airplane in the last year?
Twice. To and from New Orleans.
39. How many foreign countries have you visited?
Italy and Switzerland, when I was 16 and too young and dopey to appreciate it. I was more concerned with missing my boyfriend.
40. If you were out of shape, would you compete in a triathlon if you were somehow guaranteed to win a big, gaudy medal?
Not on your life.
41. Would you rather be rich and unhappy, or poor and happy?
Rich and unhappy. I'll take the money and work on cheering myself up.
42. If you fell into quicksand, would you try to swim or try to float?
Float? Or panic. Probably panic. Then drown.
44. Do you ask for directions when you are lost?
Never. I'll drive around for hours before I do that.
45. Have you ever had a Mexican jumping bean?
Yes. They were attached to a postcard.
46. Are you more like Cinderella or Alice in Wonderland?
Alice, but the Alice from American McGee's Alice videogame. Now, where is my cake knife?
47. Would you rather have an ant farm with no ants or a box of crayons with broken points?
Crayons. You can always use the sharpener on the back of the crayon box. Duh.
48. Do you prefer light or dark bread?
Light.
49. Do you prefer scrambled or fried eggs?
Fried, with home fries and bacon, please.
50. Have you ever been in a car that ran out of gas?
I ran out of gas right outside my high school once.
51. Do you talk in your sleep?
Every night, but I don't think it makes any sense. I also moan and grind my teeth.
52. Would you rather shovel snow or mow the lawn?
I've never mowed the lawn but I hate shoveling snow, so I'll take the mowing.
53. Would you rather be bitten by a poisonous snake or constricted by a python?
Bitten.
54. Have you ever played in the rain?
Yes. I used to run around like a lunatic in the rain with my college roommate Jack. But the last time I played in the rain was when I danced and did handstands in a downpour with my late friend Kieran.
55. Which do you think is more dangerous: an angry bear or a hungry white shark?
The bear.
56. Would you climb a very high tree to save a kitten?
Yes.
57. Can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?
No.
58. Do you drink Pepsi or Coke?
Coke.
59. What's your favorite number?
19. Dave Righetti's number when he played for the Yankees.
60. If you were a car, would you be an SUV or a sports car?
SUV.
61. Have you ever accidentally taken something from a hotel?
No.
62. Would you blow your nose at the dinner table?
No.
63. Have you ever slipped in the bathtub?
Once summer, my ex-fiancé (who was my then-fiancé) and I took a trip to Nashville and Memphis. On our first night in Nashville, Matt slipped in the shower and cracked his forehead on the soap dish. We spent the evening in the emergency room of Baptist Hospital. The next night we went to see a taping of Music City Tonight with Crook and Chase and we got on TV during the audience interaction segment because we wrote on our comment cards that we wanted to thank the people at Baptist Hospital for stitching up Matt's head.
At the end of the week, we were passing through Nashville again, and we spent the night on the outskirts of the city. The next morning, I slipped in the shower and banged my head on the rim of the tub. The woman in the next room heard me crying and she called the front desk and told them that I was being attacked. The manager showed up at our door with a security guard and I had to stand there in a towel, dripping wet, and assure them that Matt had not been beating me. I don't think they believed me, though.
Apparently, if you ever accompany me to Nashville, you need to be careful in the shower.
64. Do you use regular or deodorant soap?
Regular.
65. Have you ever locked yourself out of the house?
Several times.
66. Would you rather make your living as a singing cowboy or as one of the Simpsons voices?
A Simpsons voice. Unless being Garth Brooks counts as making your living as a singing cowboy.
67. If you could invite any movie star to your home for dinner, who would it be?
Billy Boyd, hobbit-sized or otherwise, for dinner, supper, breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, luncheon, afternoon tea....
68. Have you ever gotten a truck driver to honk his horn?
I don't think so.
69. Which would you rather live with: a huge nose or crossed eyes?
Nose.
70. Would you hang out with someone your best friend didn't like?
Depends on the reason my best friend didn't like the person.
71. Would you hang out with someone your best friend liked, but you didn't like?
If it would make my friend happy, probably.
72. Have you ever returned a gift?
I'm too lazy.
73. Would you give someone else a gift that had been given to you?
Probably not.
74. If you could attend an Olympic Event, what would it be?
None. The Olympics bore me to tears.
75. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
27.
76. If your grandmother gave you a gift that you already have, would you tell her?
If my grandmother gave me a gift right now, I'd be worried about more than the fact that I already have it -- like maybe why she was visiting from beyond the grave.
77. Do you sing in the car?
Yes, but not well.
78. Would you rather jump into a dumpster or into a vat of honey?
Honey.
79. What is your favorite breed of dog?
Pug. One day, I will own one and he will be named Mr. Pemberton and he will wear a little bowler hat and a coat. You think I'm kidding.
80. Would you donate money to feed starving animals in the winter?
Absolutely.
81. If you were a bicycle, would you be a stingray or a mountain bike?
Uh....
82. What is your least favorite fruit?
Macintosh apples
83. What kind of fruit have you never had?
Papaya
84. If you won a $5,000 shopping spree to any store, which store would you pick?
85. What brand sports apparel do you wear the most?
Hahahahahahaha....
86. Are/were you a good student?
Good, but not because I tried.
87. Among your friends, who could you arm wrestle and beat?
I bet I could take any of The Girls. Except maybe Colleen; she lugs around all the heavy fire equipment. ;)
88. If you had to choose, what branch of the military would you be in?
Air Force. According to Holden, they're the least rigid and I don't do well with rigid.
89. Would you ever parachute out of a plane?
Yes.
90. What do you think is your best feature?
My eyes. Although I have nice boobs, too.
91. If you were to win a Grammy, what kind of music would it be for?
Could it be for spoken word?
92. What is your favorite season?
I am happy for exactly three weeks in the autumn and three weeks in the spring. The rest of the year, the weather makes me miserable.
93. How many members do you have in your immediate family?
Five: Mom, dad, sister, brother, me.
94. Which of the five senses is most important to you?
That's a tough one. Sight is really important to me because I read so much, but I love music so much that hearing is up there too. I suppose I could learn Braille, so I guess hearing. But, I love watching movies, so sight. No, hearing. No, wait, sight. Please don't make me choose.
95. Would you be a more successful painter or singer?
Painter. Definitely painter.
97. How many years will/did you end up going to college?
Four years undergrad. Two years for a Master's in Education. Two years for a Master's in English with a concentration in Creative Writing. Most likely another five for a Ph.D. at some point.
98. Have you ever had surgery?
I had my tonsils and adenoids removed when I was 10 and my wisdom teeth taken out when I was 25.
99. Would you rather be a professional figure skater or professional football player?
Football player. I LOATHE figure skating.
100. What do you like to collect?
Gargoyles, comic books, vintage hats, SHAG art, and stupid junk related to whatever celebrity I'm currently obsessing over.
7 Deadly Sins and Other, Less Fatal Diversions
Pride:
Envy:
Wrath:
Sloth:
Avarice:
Gluttony:
Lust:
Book:
Quest for Publication:
Total Submissions: 21
I'm quite proud of the fact that even though it's been icy in Philadelphia for the past week, I haven't slipped once. Knock on wood.
My sister Holly's next trip is to the South of France. If she weren't my sister, I'd hate her.
Still want to hurt those Gap singers.
House not cleaned. Papers not graded. Holiday shopping not done.
Okay, I NEED the Merry and Pippin action figures from Lord of the Rings. The ones that come with an Orc for them to fight. That's the only reason I have Holden sitting in front of eBay for hours on end.
I am trying to avoid any gluttonous behavior as my goal is to actually fit into my jeans.
See #67.
The Two Towers. I'm kind of torn, actually. I want to read the book, but part of me wants to wait a week and see the movie first so I can be surprised. Ah, who am I kidding? I'm going to keep reading it.
Task at Hand:
There are so many things I should be doing right now that I am unable to remember what any of them are.
It's hard to publish when you haven't written anything in months.
Rejections: 12
Acceptances: 1
Withdrawals: 7