December 10, 2002 Been a while, huh? I hate these catch up entries. I never have anything interesting enough happen while I'm gone to make them seem worthwhile; yet, when I return to journaling after, oh what?, eight, nine months away, I feel like I should at least clue you in on where I'm at instead of just writing an entry about the wacky roofers who came to fix the roof on my new house. See? This is exactly what I mean. Now you're all like: "Wacky roofers? Roof? NEW HOUSE? Whoa. Back up. When did you buy a house?" And I could have easily avoided this situation by posting a catch up entry informing you that Holden and I purchased a home together back in June when I wasn't writing here at RDP because I am an evil slacker. Ah, don't feel too negliected. I haven't been writing ANYTHING, not just journal entries. Feel better? Well, that's good; I'm glad somebody feels better because I know I don't. So yeah, I guess this is is going to be a lame catch up entry. I mean, I wish I could tell you about how I sold my novel (or even about how I WROTE my novel); or how I met Richard Belzer and fell truly, madly, deeply in love with him and let him whisk me away to the South of France where I now live in a swinging love nest with The Belz, Penn Jilette, and John Updike; or how I worked as a dominatrix and spent my time electrocuting men in places most other men would weep to even think about electricity touching and getting spanked quite a bit because I look so much like Bettie Page in my leopard-print bra; or how I finally stood up to Estelle (you know, my boss at Unversity B) and told her exactly what she could do with her Nazi syllabus and her guilt trips. But I can't. Besides, would you have believed me if I told you those things? Probably not. I mean, my powers of persuasion are good, but not swinging South of France love-nest with Bezler, Penn, and Updike good. So, yeah, this is what has been happening since March: I received a 'Superior Pass' on The Manuscript of Doom, resulting in my graduation from University A with an MA in English with a concentration in Fiction Writing. (Which, when coupled with $3.25, will buy me a cup of fancy coffee at Starbucks). My first story was published this past April. (which, again, will get me that cup of fancy coffee at Starbucks if I had $3.25 to go with it.) Holden and I bought a house. (Thereby ensuring that I lack the sufficient funds to buy any coffee, Starbucks or otherwise.) I played 'Petra' Quince in Rose Theatre's summer run of A Midsummer Night's Dream. (Okay, I'll stop with the coffee jokes.) I had to cat-nap my cat, Severus, from my crazy ex-roommate, Erica. Oh, yeah, Erica went crazy. REALLY crazy. Scott got me a job teaching graduate literature classes at University C, a small Catholic school out in the suburbs. I taught a class on the Irish Novel and miraculously managed not to screw it up. One Friday afternoon in July, Teddy turned off his computer, got up from his desk and left his job without saying a word to anyone, never to return. Teddy also got fed up with Linda the Crack Whore (mostly because she insisted on going to Hawaii with her soon-to-be ex-husband to try to patch things up). Teddy then moved to New York City. (Well, first he moved to his brother's basement in Delaware, but eventually he got a place in Brooklyn). I tried to tell Holden that Teddy is now living on the East Coast. Holden said, "I am going to pretend I didn't hear that. Now let us never speak of this again." We haven't spoken of it again. I began teaching Tech Writing for University A. (A thrill a minute, let me tell you.) I also, against my better judgement, let Scott talk me into going back to University B. (Where I haven't really stood up to Estelle and told her what she could do with her Nazi syllabus and guilt trips.) Sabrina and Sammy have started initial planning for developing a children's theater here in Philly. (Believe me, this cannot happen soon enough.) The roof in my new house started to leak and we had to pay $1,200 to fix it. We got a new Siamese kitten. I have managed to screw up even more royally at University B -- and this time I didn't have to get felt up on stage to do it. I spent the better part of a wild night in Manhattan first on the bathroom floor of the Broadway Inn and then on the bathroom floor of a room in the Milford Plaza that Teddy very gallantly went out and booked and paid for while I was puking in the Broadway Inn's bathroom. I think that's about it. So are we all caught up? I own a house. I earned my useless degree. I'm working as a journeyman instructor for various universities. My best friend has moved back East and my boyfriend and I are not talking about that fact. Oh, and I still can't handle my Singapore Slings.

7 Deadly Sins and Other, Less Fatal Diversions Pride: I can't remember the last time I felt pride in something. Hmmm. Envy: My cats who get to eat and sleep and chase each other all day. Wrath: I want to MURDER those stupid people on the Gap ads. The jerks in the striped hats and scarves, singing Love Train? They aggravate me to no end. Particularly the chick in the red sweater. Sloth: Let's see. It's the end of the semester and I have 50 essays on film to grade. And I'm not even totally sure where I put them. Avarice: I need cash. And not for the holidays. For me. Gluttony: Holden and I celebrated Hanukkah a week late so we had latkes and pastrami sandwiches and now I'm going to burst. Lust: Steve Valentine from Crossing Jordan. My God, between him, Miguel Ferrer, and Jerry O'Connell, there is no reason NOT to watch that show. Book: The Two Towers by, well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you. Would you believe I had never read The Lord of the Rings until now? I did read The Hobbit when I was a kid, but I think it was too dense for me or something and that, plus that awful animated film they made of it years back, just put me off Tolkien for twenty years. But, luckily for me, Peter Jackson's lovely Fellowship of the Ring put me back on. Task at Hand: I should grade those papers. Quest for Publication: Uh, yeah, not a lot going on here. The quasi-lesbian story got rejected from every place I sent it. All I've got out now is a story that's languishing in a New Fiction contest. I find out in January if I won. Total Submissions: 21 Rejections: 12 Acceptances: 1 Withdrawals: 7